Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Photo Hold'em ::: Round 1 ::: Meet the Contestants

Welcome to tRL's version of "industry development," Photo Hold'em. A couple weeks back, Shane announced our photo contest based loosely on a poker tourney. We received a surprisingly large response & now have a field of 20+ players. So, in case you're unclear on the concept &/or how the contest works, here's a brief explanation.

Having seen several photo showdowns where sports action photographers compete against each other on the merits of their chosen portfolio, we thought a similar concept could be easily adapted to integrate into our blog format. Unlike a standard slideshow-showdown however, we've incorporated a couple twists requiring the players to approach the game with a photo editor's eye & a GAMBLER'S steely gaze & sense of strategery [sic].

To enter the tourney's first round, players were asked to submit a "headshot" -- a photo of themselves. Subsequent rounds will pit photog v. photog in a head-to-head photo battle, the winner advancing to the next round to meet his/her next foe. Throughout the subsequent rounds, photos will be judged by tRL staff, guest judges (to be announced), & by our readers via interactive polling.

Which brings us to Round 1, the “headshots.” We provided little in the way of suggestions as to what to submit, other than "be creative". The photogs responded with a batch of Round 1 entries that were surprisingly creative, innovative & fun. Our original plan, should we receive over 16 entrants, was to cut the field back to 16 based on Round 1 photos. But, Shane, in a crucial moment utilizing EXECUTIVE AUTHORITY has instead chosen to advance all players into Round 2.

Below is the Round 1 gallery of photos, along with some words from the players, giving you the opportunity to meet the shooters. We took the liberty of slandering all the entrants, cuz it's what we do.

... But before we get to the pictures .. a huge thanks is due to the industry contributors who've offered their support for the up & coming photogs in the whitewater world who we hope to help expose with this project. Please help us in thanking (and by thanking, we mean "please take a minute to click on the sponsor links below to check out &/or purchase some cool new stuff"):




Ok, time to meet the CONTESTANTS!

Name: Nathan Silsbee
From: From some holler in the SE
He sez: I have sharp teeth and have been known to bite small children. If you see me, I would suggest you hide your kids in a small shoebox or other sufficient protective capsule. With that said, here is my photo submission. Hope ya like it.

tRL sez: "Likes to bite little boys, eh? Should be an instant DQ, but because he's honest about his little problem, we'll let him go to the next round before the authorities come to lock him up."

Name: Darin McQuoid
From: Somewhere in the State of Jefferson. Or is that Jefferson State?
He sez: My name is Darin McQuoid and my photograph is great because it makes me look like a vain suntanning jerk - which I am. I like long walks in the park, rollerblading, eating ham and finger painting.

tRL sez: "Hey Darin, up here in Sunny Sea-town, we call that Bangin' Rays .. or at least our friend, Utard, calls it that. And our other friend B-rock enjoys eating ham & other pork products as much as you do. You guys are made for each other."

Name: John Fullbright
From: Taos, NM
He sez: Here is a shot taken by my former wife Amber, while driving back from the
Slave River. Seen here, I am realigning my spine and relaxing in Banff-Jasper Park...I am a professional photograher and kayak facilitator and live in Taos, NM at the southern tip of the Rocky Mountains.

tRL sez: "Spinal realignment .. so hott right now."

Name: Chan Jones, Team Eskimo USA
From: NC, we're pretty sure.
He sez: It’s the best one that I have and am allowed to use, so here you go. It was taken at Gorilla Falls on the Green Narrows in NC by Clay Wright using my Nikon D50 and a 28-80 mm lense. Enjoy!

tRL sez: "Monkeyspanker repent! And droppin' Clay's name buys you no favor, son."

Name: John Boone
From: Hood River, OR
He sez: Here is my entry of a photo of myself taken by JJ Shepherd, who is currently on the first d of the Parlung Tsangpo river in Tibet. Check out his sick blog at www.passion4adventure.blogspot.com. My photo is taken on NZ's South Island on the Muria River (Muris Falls). My caption "Starkey Blakeman here, I like to go UP with the Chicks and I like to go DOWN with the chicks ... Currently on a hiatus from paddling until the only river worth paddling in the Gorge comes back in, The Little White. Until then I'm kitesurfing here in Maui checking out your mom on the beach, boiii!"

tRL sez: "First of all Boone, if you plug another blog in Round 2, I'll have my boy Chava (your bartender at Charley's in Paia) ace your next Colada with something to make you incontinent for a week. Second of all, tell my mom I miss her."

Name: Hale Hanaway
From: Bellingham, WA
He sez: This photo was taken of me by Chris Tretwold during our shuttle back from Lightning Cr, Ross Lake. It was to hard to tow the boats so we just strapped them to the back of our seakayaks. This was much more efficient! I have been paddling for the past 7 yrs, mostly in the NW, but also in Ecuador, Alaska, and of course Canada. Very interesting format for the contest."

tRL sez: "Hale, you best be holding some non-flatwater shots in your hand too! This lake paddling kick you've been on lately is lame."

Name: Tim Loubier
From: Somewhere up in Canadia, eh?
He sez: Congrats on the wedding Bryan, and boyz on winning the Vac2Hell. Wish I was still boat'n Squampton its been school and ice cold Ottawa sessions here. Hope this photo comp gets a solid turnout.

tRL sez: "Is it just me or does this entry remind you of THIS, eh?

Name: Lane Jacobs
From: Eugene, OR & Tahoe, CA
He sez: What up TRL crew, hope the Ashlu is still treating you boys well up there. I have a few pretty sweet shots that I thought I would throw in. Description: uummmm .... professional kayak bum, stripper seducer, latina domesticator, unprofesional killer, orgy organizer, broken kayak/paddle/gear collector, freestyle gangster rapper ... yup, that pretty much sums me up.

tRL sez: "Yeah right, Lane. You are sooo totally NOT a broken kayak collector, you liar!"

Name: Mark Basso
From: Calgary, Alberta, Canada (EH?)
He sez: Hey there RangeLife crew, thanks for the reminder today about this cool idea to have a photo throw down over the next bit of this usually uninteresting and river freeze-up month of November. My personal photo is from this past summer on a boating trip to Montana......photo taken by beer can slammin' Wat da Fuckey weeez in Montuckey Joey Vosburgh. This shot pretty much sums up what was quite a perfect day for all of us Canookies down there. Big lines on East Rosebud Cr at high water, 24 packs of Busch for 12 bucks, big ol Burger, and a nappy 7-week hockey playoff beard still growing in mid June. Get me bought in on this game yo, cuz I have plenty more snaps to play with!

tRL sez: "Eh? What's dat ya say dere, eh? ... I'da been a lot more convinced on this bluff if it had been spoken in a proud American dialect & not the wishy-washy, approval-seeking Canadia-speak. Nice try Basso, but we know what yer holdin'. And BTW, your boy Vosburg's on our shitlist too--where's his entry???"

Name: Kennet Belenky
From: Seattle, WA ... represent!
He sez: I usually take photos as a way to keep my candy-ass on the sidelines and make other people probe the sh@t.

tRL sez: "Not a bad strategy son, the Gambler said 'You gotta now when to walk away & know when to run (the shit).' I hope you know when to run the shit, Kennet. Do you know when to run the shit, or are you just walking away all the time? Questions that need answers."

Name: Barbora Hollan
From: Norway
No comments from Barbora.

tRL sez: "How can we berate the only chica in the comp? We can't & we won't. And furthermore, she's Norwegian & she's totally gonna win."

Name: Brian Vogt
From: Seattle, WA ... yeah!
He sez: Here's my headshot, goofin off on canyon creek (terminator, I think) ... Shot by David Chatham. Description: Nothing I love more than wilderness multidays and great boating photos. Can't wait to see the quality images coming in this contest. SYOTR!

tRL sez: "Hey Brian, YOU'RE THE ONE!"

Name: Mikkel St. Jean-Duncan
From: Victoria, BC, Canada
He sez: I have been playing Texas Hold'em since I was four years old, I now travel around playing 365 days a year, oh yeah and occasionally I get out paddling. Currently residing in Victoria B.C. but I grew up and spend most of my summer in Nelson B.C.

tRL sez: "Sorry if the above quote is jiberish. We had to use Babelfish to translate what he sent in. Mikkel only speaks Francais, bien? Eh?"

Name(s): Kyle McCutchen & Evan Dotcom Stafford - entering as a couple
From: Denvah, CO & Ft. Collins, CO
They sez: We'll go first with two pics, as our portrait entries. 'Cause we're beautiful.'

tRL sez: "Wow ... bold strategy. Is this even legal? What is legal, really? ... Anyway, if you two can make it the whole way to the finals as a cute couple, we'll be beside ourselves, so to speak. Until then we're just gonna make fun of you orally fixated party boys."

Name: Edgar Peck
From: Kernersville, NC
He sez: I would like to enter the photo contest. Beware, we will get kayak pictures, even if it never rains again!! I will throw myself off my deck at home if I have too. Here is me at the Watauga River in NC at ELF. Get ready for some CARNAGE!! Wooo.
Pick me, pick me, please, please, please. :)

tRL sez: "Hey y'all, watch this! Me an' Elmo, we's gonna NOODLE us a catfish outta that thar swimmin' hole!"

Name: Michael Tavares
From: Originally - Richmond, VA, but now Salida, CO
He sez: I'm in the red boat.

tRL sez: "Good call moving to CO from VA! Now you can work on blonding your hair with the chlorine from 10 months of indoor paddling."

Name: Evan Ross
From: Jackson Hole, WY
He sez: All I want from this, is to becom famous and sign some Tidies. So get out the way bitches!

tRL sez: "So apart from making Baby Jeebus cry with your speallung [sic], you also have a thing for kids?" Awesome!"

Name: Steve Ward
From: Durango, CO
He sez:Yah, this is a pic of my warm ups before I paddle. I like to do an hour or so of Yoga to loosen up. Most of the time I don't get a work out unless I have a partner. A lot of pro paddlers ask me about my technique, I just tell them to get their heads out of the spotlight long enough to do some tree or downward dog. I am just getting started.

tRL yogi Shanti Robinson sez: "Steve, my yoga critique would be to relax the neck...storing a little tension there cowboy. Is that girl in the back, spotting? or doing warm-up body-shots before paddling?"

Name: Shawn Robertson
From: Montana
He sez: I'm ready to lay down my pics, Maverick style to the very end till I'm the last man standing. I'm a true Montana native but have spent the last seven years guiding on rivers from central Alaska to southern Patagonia. The deck I'm hold'en is packed with pictures displaying my view of the most beautiful, unique, and sacred places in the world. Sit back, relax, and feast your eyes on the wonders yet to come.

tRL sez: "Hey guy, I'll relax when I freakin' wanna relax, got dat? I'm a true East Coaster & i've spent da last 30 years breakin' kneecaps. Are we cool?"

Name: Erik Boomer
From: McCall, ID
He sez: "Just got back into the internet world via some shabby shack in Pokhara, Nepal. Hiked over a 19,000ft pass. f@cking crazy how thin the air is up there. Getting some ridiculous pictures... the mountains are kinda big, altitude sickness just sucks... all there is too it. Are you still in the company of a woman? bye bye for now- mabye if i figure this technology stuff out i will send you a few pictures, Why? you might ask, "Its.... what we do."

tRL sez: "Stealing my signature line won't curry favor with the judges Boomer .. & why you interested in my dating status? You plan to bring me home a nice honeybaby from your trip? *That* will curry favor with the judges .. this judge, anyway."

Name: Andrew Oberhardt
From: Redmond, WA ... Home of Microsoft .. soon dominating a planet near you!
He sez: I am the single most important thing to happen to the sport and industry of whitewater kayaking. Actually that’s not entirely true, but I am one of the top (several-thousand) important things to happen. At least, that is, I have my own gear so I supported the industry sometime in the past. All my gear is used. I am a professional. Not a professional kayaker, but I do have a job. I hang with the whitewater pros, big names, and rodeo stars. By that, I mean I’ve met a couple of them. Actually I’ve just seen them in videos and magazines. I have hiked in to scout some of the craziest, biggest, and most dangerous waterfalls and rivers imaginable. I have participated in numerous first descents... on the shore. I am not part of the problem; I am part of the solution. I own a camera.

tRL sez: "Andi, seen here as part of the solution. By that, I mean, he is saving the glaciers. By "saving the glaciers" what I really mean is, he's gleaming the cube. Professionally. Which solves a lot."

Name: Atom Crawford
From: New Mexico
He sez: I was kickin it, to the sound O baseballs hitting plether when my AGENT called! She (as in "super hot" under 30 post GRAD degree starbucks server) said: O Atom, Just because you lost out to Ben Stiller for the Zoolander part, does not mean that you are washed up or out or zoned or stoned or STUPIDDDDD!. FU#K ya, I said, as I reached for the nearest beer (the Beast), alas it was empty and ************** then it hit me! To hell with that movie star shhhghit! I am an Atom.., not normal to many. friends to some, I am an Exotic Atom, An exotic atom is usually made from a normal matter atom with a substitution from abnormal or rarely encountered matter, such as antimatter, muons, mesons, or other objects. A few exotic atoms (such as atoms of antimatter) are not made of any normal atomic constituents at all. All exotic atoms (save antiatoms made from antinucleons and positrons), are highly unstable, decaying with lifetimes of a few microseconds or less. The antimatter counterparts of stable particles are also stable, but difficult to store for more than short periods, since they annihilate if allowed to contact ordinary matter. The most familiar examples of exotic atoms are the antiatom antihydrogen (composed of an antiproton and positron) which has been produced in tiny quantities, and positronium, an analogue to the hydrogen atom in which a positron is substituted for the usual proton nucleus. Positronium is unstable; it is a common phase in the attraction between an electron and positron before the annihilation reaction in which the matter particles are destroyed and two gamma rays are emitted. (sound O beer can opening) Boating tomorrow anyone? Adios, Atom...

tRL sez: "That's the kinda psychobabble you're bound to get from an Evergreen State graduate. Seriously."

OK, y'all, the game is officially closed to new entries. Effigy, you're outta luck, fatty! All readers are welcomed -- no ENCOURAGED -- to use the comments window to further denigrate, berate, & shame the contestants.

your frens at tRL


Anonymous said...

Hahahaha! This is great, love the comments. My money's on the girl or the profesional photographer.

Anonymous said...

Unbelivable pixx. great. very nice.
or in german. fett. dick blokkig



Anonymous said...

Nice pics.
I have to give it to Boomer for the snake shot, creative yet scarry!

Anonymous said...

ah, shit... that was kind of funny that trl called someone out for name droppin'. that was irony. right?
-paul in portland,oregon.

Todd Gillman said...

Oh, Zing! owie .. stings a little bit .. but just like yer boys Chumbawamba: I get knocked down, but I get up again .. y'know?

If ya want, we can find a way to work a P.H. namedrop in for you soon. Just drag 1 of us into another mandatory evac -- that'll do the trick.


Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

Get rid of the PRO he already has a job and a hot ex-wife.

Anonymous said...

Hey how you know his ex is "hot"?

Anonymous said...

Yo my money is on the norweigan hottie. you other suckas might as well drop out.


Anonymous said...

hm...wasn't the photos supposed to be posted several days ago...? just that the deadline is ment to be tomorrow....

Todd Gillman said...

We will get last week's submissions posted this coming weekend. We had to time-out for a minute to attend to our regularly-scheduled lives away from the blog.


Atom Crawford said...

Give the Range Life Crew a break, the PNW is full on flood stage. The boys gotta practice for the Hell tour. I want to see some good flood boating shots from you guys. Texas hold"um can wait